Medicine is a field that has been plagued with “burn out”. While it has become increasingly clear that any field has its fair share, this has been a topic of discussion in medicine before it ever became main stream. At the end of the day, if your job is to help people you can’t afford to be emotionally deplete, callous, and physically spent.
Treating this as an avoidable potentially career ending disaster; I am always vigilant for any signs of impending burnout. Despite my efforts, it took me no less than a year in Family Medicine practice to face to face with emotional and physical exhaustion. Since I’m still quite green as a medical provider, I hesitate to diagnose this as burn out. Regardless, I knew I needed to get a step ahead of this. My solution at the time was a reduced schedule (after a few months of failed efforts with the low hanging fruits of better sleep, meditation, more water, and more exercise).
It has been nearly a year now that I have been working a reduced schedule (0.9 Full Time Equivalent) with an accompanied modest pay decrease. I work 2 half days and 3 full days for a total of 32 hours a week. Or at least that’s what my paystub will tell you. So far, while it has helped, I do not feel any closer to having a healthy relationship at work. Despite my continued practice of arriving an hour before my first patient of the day, I continue to find myself leaving at least an hour late. This is slightly more vexing now because I usually have at least something I want to get done on my half days, in contrast to my full days where I fully expect to spend the majority of my day on work.
So I will continue on trying to solve the work life balance dilemma. I know it can seem laughable. How can someone 2 years into the job have “burn out”. I agree, it seems ridiculous. And once more, I hesitate to call this burn out. My concern is, despite its many flaws that have scared many physicians and physician assistants from entering general practice, primary care will continue to be a crucial field in providing care and compassion to many of those in need for the foreseeable future. If general practice continues to carry this reputation, and primary care clinics continue to be a revolving door, I am worried we may never see any true improvement to this ever growing and increasingly demanding field.
I hope soon I find a way to truly enjoy a work life balance. Once I do, I am eager to pass what I’ve learned on to future students and colleagues so we may work to bring professionalism, compassion, excellence, and respect to primary care communities around the country.
